Being In A Loving Relationship With The Lord

Something that I have been learning in my walk with the Lord is just how much my worldly understanding of things has had an impact on me and my relationship with the Lord. I mean, it makes sense, most of us went to church one day a week, maybe two if we were lucky, but rarely engaged in regular Bible study. Throughout the week, I would pray here and there and make my request to the Lord, but it wasn't until recently that I felt called to really spend time in scripture and prayer to be in relationship with Him. So, if you relate or are anything like me, I don't think it should come as much of a surprise that there may be challenges when it comes to our connection with Jesus.

Worldy Relationships

Recently, I've been thinking a lot more about my relationship with the Lord. Through conviction and prayer, I've been guided to a space of reflecting on my perception of what a relationship is, what my expectations are, what is demanded of me, and how best to be in one. By my worldly standard, most of my life, I looked at relationships in a give-and-take sort of way. What I give is essentially what I expect in return and vice versa. It's so interesting how this small idea of reciprocity can eventually infect the trajectory of every relationship in your life. For instance, if someone were to do me wrong, it would be justifiable that I did them wrong. And if someone gave me the bare minimum, they, too, would receive the bare minimum. But on the contrary, if they loved me with their whole heart, I would love the mess out of them, too. By worldly standards, this way of living, thinking, and loving made perfect sense, it felt safe. Most of us grew to believe that this way of loving protected us from being hurt. Or maybe you learned this from experience when you tried to be the better person, and it ended up backfiring on you. That type of hurt will make you never want to give out more love than you are receiving ever again. I'll be the one to tell it. However, this way of functioning in a relationship only works until it doesn't. Because its functionality relies on equality, mutual benefit, and 50/50. The problem ends up surfacing when one person is no longer capable or willing to hold up their end of the relationship. Now that 50/50 very quickly becomes 0.

Then it's kinda funny and ironic how things have changed recently, or maybe not so much. But as I got older, I started to think girl 50/50 ain't cutting it no more. I mean, if you're anything like me, you had to hit zero a couple of times to realize that, that relationship style just wasn't it. So then you eventually gravitate to desiring the 80s/20s. I mean, it's hard not to when you hear about the women who are having their way with men. You hear those stories about the man who pays all her bills, gets her all the jewelry, fancies her with the latest fashion, cars, and trends. And ladies, this ain't no shade, I love that for ya'll, but I do pray that its source is from a God-centered relationship. It's not bad to get nice things or to have your way, but it is important to question the foundation that is structuring our relationships. Cause can we be honest for a minute? Just because it's only 20% that you're giving doesn't mean that it will be easy or that the burdens are light. What if it's a dense 20? Like you may not have to buy him all the things that he's getting you, but you still gotta play your role in whatever way that may be. For some, the cost of that 20 is just as heavy and just as easily lost as the person who was giving 50. So, while these relationships may last for so long, they too can very easily become 0.

Now, if you have reached this point of my writing, and you think that I'm going to say run to God because he's the only one who's gonna give you 100% while you give 0, you have got this all the way twisted. But frankly, a few months ago, I might have been misled to actually think like that.

But before we get too far, ask yourself these 4 questions:

What type of relationship am I striving for?

What is my idea of a great relationship?

What would a good relationship demand from me?

Is it quantifiable?

What does being in a relationship with the Lord mean to me?

"Cultivating A Relationship"

So often recently when I think about building, maintaining, and creating relationships, what comes to mind is the term 'Cultivating.' Whether it's on LinkedIn, through Chatgpt, or in Bible Study, the emphasis on cultivating relationships has been on the rise. My curiosity eventually led me to search for what this phrase meant exactly. One definition described it as "intentionally nurturing and developing a connection with someone over time through consistent effort, communication, and mutual care. It involves building trust, understanding, and emotional depth by actively investing in the relationship, cultivating a relationship requires patience, attention, and effort to grow into something strong and meaningful." I'm not gonna lie after reading that I see what all the hype is about. I can only imagine what a relationship will become if it is cultivated properly.

Cultivating a relationship with the Lord takes all of these things, with a strong emphasis on time. Many of us hear about being in relationship with the Lord, something that sounds so simple. But sis, do you know how to be in relationship with the Lord? Imma be honest and tell you I am still learning. Any relationship requires awareness, and work. Our relationship with the Lord undeniably requires love, in fact, The Bible titles it as the greatest. However, you have to understand what love is to be able to extend it. Think about some of the relationships in your life, whether they were your own or someone else. Did some of those relationships have love but still struggle? Did some maybe even fail to sustain? Love is a multifaceted word, emotion, and commitment, and it is only the kind of love that reflects the Lord that can truly sustain and survive. How unfortunate would it be if we brought our broken, worldly understanding of love to our God, who loves us in the most perfect ways that He does? Girl, are we bringing God 50, or even worse 20? Are we expecting 80, 50, more or less? Are we practicing reciprocity and expecting what we give in return? Or worse are we giving nothing, and expecting 100, just because we think we got it like that? Though we will not be perfect, and though our understanding of love may be impartial striving to, learning to, and understanding how to love God will help us to give Him the love that He truly deserves.

Lately, I have been reading the New Living Translation (NLT) of the Bible after reading my usual New International Version (NIV). Often, when we Christians talk about love, we refer to 1 Corinthians 13. I thought that leaving you all with the NLT version could offer you some clarity about what was being communicated in this chapter if you've ever struggled to understand its meaning outside of verses 4-7. Here it says (1 Corinthians 13: 1-13):

1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.

11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

5 part Series

In Matthew 22, when a Pharisee asked Jesus what the most important commandment was (36), Jesus responded by saying, "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind (37)." In simple terms, girl, we got to get this down. To love the Lord is our most important commandment. In my own words, sis, love is the key to being in relationship with the Lord. So, to deepen our understanding of love and how to be in relationship with the Lord, we are going to focus on five qualities that are important for cultivating a relationship rooted in love, this includes:

Communication

Trust

Patience

Surrender

Commitment

So, sisters, we are going to break these areas down into five parts, which can be found here on my blog page. Instead of making one super long post, I thought that it would not only be easier to read but to refer back to if I broke things down into five different posts. I pray that through deepening our understanding of these five qualities of significance in building our relationship with the Lord, we may gain an understanding of how to grow in faith, keep strong our hope, and most importantly to love the Lord.

As always, I love you all and am keeping you close in Prayer.

prayer

Our Heavenly Father,

As we go into prayer and study regarding these five areas of loving you, I pray that the Holy Spirit comes into the center. Lord, to be loved by you is the best thing that this life could offer us.

In a world where the definition of love is constantly changing in measure, magnitude, and significance, your love remains constant, everlasting, unconditional, and faithful.

Lord, we ask that we can love like you do,

Lord, we pray that we can Love you not for what you do, but simply and significantly because of who you are. Lord as we dive into this journey together I pray that your love softens and opens our hearts, I pray that we are able to think back on your miracles in our lives where we were reminded of your love. Lord help us to lift the veil of our own expectations, and perceptions that rest in the love of this world so that we can see the beauty and greatness of the love that comes from your kingdom.

Lord, I thank you that you would love us, that you would choose us in our imperfection and love us new. As we near the day of resurrection, may we be reminded of what your love can do, what your love has done. The perfect love that led to death, for our sins and sanctification.

Lord, may we never forget what your love for us cost you.

Thank you, Lord, for your love,

Amen