Being In A Loving Relationship With The Lord: Surrender

Three posts into this series and girlsss, we have been in our Bible study baggg, okay, okay! We truly have been diving deep into our word, and I am so proud of us. If you have engaged with all of the posts in this series up to this point, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. I do not have enough words in my vocabulary to express the magnitude of my gratitude.

For this post, I have decided to get a lil bit more personal since the season that I am currently in has been one where conviction, encouragement, and love have led me to fully surrender my life to Jesus.

The Tension Between Independence and Surrender

I am the type of woman who has grown to be independent. While I have always had my wonderful and amazing cousins, family, and friends in my corner to support me through the many stages of my life there came a time when I realized relied too heavily on them to fulfill areas of my life that could only be fulfilled through a healthy level of independence, reflection, growth, and time spent with God.

At one point my idea of being independent meant that I had the ability to rely on my own understanding, trust in my intuition, carry my own burdens, and be okay with my time spent alone. Though it sounds simple achieving this level of independence would be considered profound for me at the time, something I could have never believed would come about. As I mentioned earlier I haven't always been self-sufficient, at one point being independent was my own personal form of torment. I didn't have a healthy view of independence and in my mind, the term could be used interchangeably with alone, and isolated. If I'm being honest it was a crazy thing to imagine or even want for myself, after all, I loved spending time with my family, friends, and cousins. In addition to independence for most of my young and young adult life I also didn't have a healthy perspective on time spent alone, after all, I grew up in a very collectivist-centered community. Most of my thoughts, beliefs, opinions, perspectives, and actions relied heavily on having, being, and thinking with others, in community. When I think about it I was rarely encouraged to live independently, honestly speaking the most concrete level of independence that I remember being enforced was the kind that would hold me back from "jumping off a cliff just because my friend did", if you know, you know hahaha. But no seriously, I came from an environment where community was held to a very high standard. I want to clarify that it can absolutely be a great thing to live and thrive in this type of environment if you are handling it correctly. Unfortunately, though there came a point where I no longer could healthily handle the blessing of community and collectivism. At that point a community-centered approach to life, kept me shackled. I could no longer think for myself, or dream for myself, and I no longer had confidence in myself or much of any discernment. I began to struggle with my ability to separate myself from the standard beliefs, expectations, and images that others had of me. It felt like I desperately needed people to have fulfillment and direction in my life so I was caught somewhere in the middle of Jeremiah 17:5, Galatians 6:2, and Hebrews 10: 24, well if I am being honest I was lost somewhere in the middle hahaha.

I can’t exactly put my finger on when things forcibly changed for me, but the burden of keeping up became too difficult. I suppose it could have been after having fallen out with some of the people I loved and relied on the most, or in isolation during my college years when I was away from my siblings and family who remain the light of my life, or through the rise and fall of relationships where I became disconnected from my true self and purpose. Or maybe it was because I became so unrealistically busy working, going to school, and paying bills, or because the demands of my personal life, endeavors, and career goals became too consuming. While I think all of those things may have had some influence, I reached a point where I had to start relying on myself more. I believe that for the most part, the development of my independence mostly came naturally through the course of life, experiences, changing demands, and years of truly reflecting on all that I had been through and how it affected and impacted me. Adversely though because I always relied so heavily on a community-centered dynamic as I grew into my independence I realized I also did not know how to handle it healthily. So instead I became hyper-independent, hyper-self-reliant, and probably more isolated than I should have been. I think it all goes back to a flaw in my understanding of what independence was, after-all I did think that being independent meant being isolated.

I know I just explained a lot there, but the point is that somewhere along the path of adulting things changed for me. To explain it a little more simply independence became my means of survival, an adaptation that was both necessary and suitable for the place I was in at the time. The thing about your college years, post-grad, and your early 20s, in general, is that you very quickly transition from a season where everyone in your life is mostly accessible to you, to a season where nearly no one is as easily accessible including yourself. That's why it difficult to trace back where or when the transition happened, since it was both gradual and quick at the same time. Anyway, after I became more independent I had a new set of challenges to work through. You know how they say more money more problems, yeah I felt that, but with my independence. This is probably a heavily loaded statement, but the more I became independent, self-reliant, and self-sufficient the more I surrendered my life into my own hands. Honestly speaking I believe that this was the worst form of surrender that has ever taken place in my life, and I pray and hope that through the course of my life, I do not fall back into that type of surrender. What "surrendering my life into my own hands" looked like for me was giving myself up to my dreams, career aspirations, endeavors, lust, wealth, success, financial stability, and even my future. As I put my life in my own hands, I was no longer shackled to a community-centered vision for myself, instead, I was consumed by the desires and visions of my flesh. The very things I listed and many others eventually became my idols. And because of what they meant to me, I had a vision for what I wanted my life to look like, and what I would need to accomplish to guarantee them. I was so set on fulfilling these desires that I can say it was my will for myself to attain all of those things and more. Because I had finally gained a lil independence I believed that I could truly receive and achieve whatever I wanted in and out of this world, as long as I put my mind on it. I know that may be kind of hard to understand, but it's because I achieved the very thing I could have never imagined I would within myself that there were no longer statutes or limitations to my potential in my mind. I became the master, controller, and determiner of my life. My life was now in my own hands and the only thing that I believed could control my outcome were the decisions and actions I would take that contributed to them. I reached a point where I became so confident in my own plan, potential, and control that God's anointing and blessing over it became secondary.

Surrender was the answer i never wanted

Honestly speaking the funny thing about life is that you really do figure it out as you go. As I’m writing this I'm realizing things that I have not connected before and all the places and points where I steered off in the wrong direction. If I am being honest I think what led me in the wrong direction is that at the time my reality was that my plan felt comfortable. I don't think I wanted to accept how much of my life was truly in God’s hands. I wanted to be the ruler of my life because if I were, then I could get to wherever I wanted. It would simply take a commitment to doing the things I needed to do to get there. I didn't want to do it God's way, and I didn’t want to walk on God's path to fulfill His plans for me. They moved too slowly, they took too much time, and they were too inconsistent. I wanted my purpose, over God's. God's plans hurt me, they put me through suffering, they broke me down, and they left me in deep and dark pits. God's plan allowed me to become the weakest version of myself, broken down, degraded, discouraged, and full of insecurities and uncertainties. God's plan meant I had to do twice as much work, and even after I did there was still no guarantee that I would get what I wanted. God's plan seemed boring, it required me to change, to be a proper Christian. It left me with no room to live my life, freely or to be young and turnt. If I followed God’s plan I would have to sacrifice all of my fun so that He could give me what I wanted. So instead, I followed my own route, my own plan, and my own will. As I write this I can’t help but to reflect on and understand just how much this way of thinking affected my relationship with the Lord over time...

If I am being honest it hurts me so much to write this and know that it was my truth. To know just how much I misunderstood the love and plans God had in store for me. As it says in the song ‘God of Abundance’ by House Fires God does not just meet our every need, he exceeds them, and because I could not surrender my life to Him, because I was scared to, I held myself back from the peace of knowing that He has always been in control. He is a God of abundance, who has given me much more than I could ever dream, want, or imagine. Not just in a given season, but throughout the trajectory of my life leading up to this point, and for the rest of my life leading up to the kingdom. What both hurts me and heals me all the more, is that even though I thought and lived my life through that lens God still loved me, He still worked things out for my good, there are so many miracles that I can remember that still took place despite my very broken way of thinking. God’s goodness, grace, and mercy were never lifted off or over my life. Even though that may have been the truth that rested on my heart, God still spoke and exemplified His truth over my life, my heart, my spirit, and my mind. That’s why I can’t help but to glorify Him, love Him, and Thank Him for all that He’s done because no matter the season God never gave up on me, no matter what or how I thought He never stopped leading me on. I don’t say this to give you a pillow-soft feeling, or to make you feel better about yourself, I say this to highlight the magnitude of God’s love for us, to encompass how great of a God that He is to us. Even though I was determined to give God such a passive position in my life, and even though I only wanted Him to pick me up and help me where I fell short or had gaps in my understanding. He remained the omnipotent source of not just my life, but all the good in it. He still prospered me, and did right by me, even though I did not deserve it. This is why today, I willingly surrender my entire life to Jesus Christ out of the love that he extended to me. He changed the desires of my heart, and the posture of my life, so I want to glorify Him all the days of it. It was His love that did it for me above all else, the very love He commands us to embody here on earth. So I pray these realizations and a personal conviction may be a reason that you have a revelation and realize just how loved you are and have always been.

Surrender Begins Where Control Ends

Because we are unable to see God's plan over our entire lives it's easy to focus on our now, It's also what makes it easier to think that we are in way more control than we really are. It's a bit paradoxical because I would like to think that I trusted God's plan for me for the majority of my life. One of my absolute favorite verses throughout high school and college was Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have plans for you declares the the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not harm you, plans to give you peace." If you read that, and you said wait that doesn't sound right, you're right my bad I got a lil rusty. It actually says “plans to give you hope and a future.” I thought I believed in God’s entire plan for me, but in between I would do everything in my control to "help" God fulfill my destiny more efficiently and perfectly in my eyes. As if I even knew what my destiny even was. I have never known and do not know God's true plan for me other than that He will give me hope, and a future, and of course that He wants good for me. If I could say one thing to the version of myself who was committed to being the orchestrator of her own life I would say, babygirl, open up your bible. I don’t know how being in control of my life could have ever seemed easier than surrendering it to God, I was inflicting a burden on myself far heavier than I could ever bare. And to make even less sense of it, how could I have thought that I could ever be in more control than the one who gave me life...

Proverbs 16:9 In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.

Proverbs 21: 2 A person may think their own ways are right, but the Lord weighs the heart.

Proverbs 21:30 There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord.

Proverbs 21:31 The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the Lord.

To deepen our understanding of what surrender means in the bible I decided to add a few of the greek and hebrew translations below. A lot of the times we are instructed to surrender our lives, but many of us may not know what exactly that means. I want us to gain an understanding of what that looks like biblically. So here are just a few examples of how the word surrender was used and instructed in the Bible.

Hebrew – Shema: Obedience & Listening "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength."— Deuteronomy 6:4–5

Hebrew – Kaná: Humility & Submission"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land."— 2 Chronicles 7:14

Greek – Paradidōmi: Handing Over / Giving Oneself "Walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."— Ephesians 5:2

Greek – Hypotassō: Willful Submission to God’s Authority "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."— James 4:7

Greek – Paristēmi: Presenting Your Whole Self "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship."— Romans 12:1

Aramaic – Concept of Surrender: Yielding to God’s Will "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."— Luke 22:42

Surrender: A Daily Act of Relationship That Never Ends

I’m not expecting surrender to seem like an easy concept to you. If I am being honest I had to resort to so many other things before surrendering my life to the Lord became an active thought in my mind. In fact, I feel like there was little to no intentionality that went into the surrender of my life to Jesus, rather I reached a point where I just didn’t have anything left to do. I tried and exhausted my ways, and it wasn't until I finally rested in Him that peace could be found in my heart and mind. I want to take a second to make it clear to you that you can have wants, desires, and needs. There are desires that God gives you, that he rests on your heart. But above all of our greatest desires, wants, and needs, we need to desire God’s plans and desires for us far more. I am not imposing that you just throw away your dreams, instead bring them to the Lord. Pray about them, pray that your will aligns with His. Sacrifice them to Him and whether or not you get the answer that you want, pray that you may still have a posture of surrender in the ways listed above. We have to be willing to give it all to God, not just in one, but in every one of those ways. And we need to do so not just for the fulfillment of our desires but because we truly trust and are willing to surreder and love God with everything that He has blessed us with. I used to be so afraid of my plans changing in life. It made me feel unstable, uncredible, and unserious. But it is God who gave and gives me His desires, it is He who rests the true desires of His plans on my heart. So would I be ashamed when my assignments are changed by the God who gave me life? With every change, adaptation, with every new assignment, and pursuit God blesses them all. The world will shame you because you are not consistent, or because you did not follow through, but the Lord will prosper you, and sustain you because you were obedient to Him. He will be glorified when you surrender and step into the desires, plans, and purposes that He has for your life.

There is another thing that I want to make sure that you all know. I absolutely have not graduated from my season of surrender. I don't speak about this in the past tense, even as I write this I am still fighting daily to continue to press on in surrendering my life, plans, and my desires to the Lord. I still trip up and fall into panic and hope that my own will be done. I am still praying and fighting my flesh so that I do not become subject to the very idols that once gripped every aspect of my life. To be honest I don’t know that any of us will ever entirely master the act of surrender. Surrender is a daily and constant act that will be demanded of us throughout the course of our entire lives. There will come seasons where surrender is done naturally, and feels easy; and others where surrender may seem like the most foolish and challenging thing to do. I want you to remember that in both those moments God is in control and that peace will come with the action of surrender. When you are in between decisions where it feels like your world is crashing down on you or as though the wrong decision will impose doom over your life. Remember the God we serve, the God who guides us and protects us, the God who has planned both in advance and subsequently our lives, the God who is in control. Surrender your plans in those moments confidently with trust that all will be well with your life and even if it does not feel like it at first that eventaully all will also be well with your soul. God sees the entire picture, and He knows the entire plan, He sees the beginning from the end, sis remember that you are only only seeing what you can in the middle.

I would also like to remind you that surrender in your life may not look like what it does in mine. We all have different convictions, and God has different conversations with each and every one of us. This is why I emphasize again to be in relationship with the Lord. Pray to Him, call onto Him, cry out to Him so that you may gain an understanding of how the Lord needs you to surrender your life to Him. That is not something I can answer, and that is not something anyone may be able to identify for you. You need to go to the Lord and hear His calling for yourself. I suggest always that you pray about it, that prayer becomes your first response to everything in this life. There are so many sources to rely on in today’s words including but not limited to chatgpt, social media, a search engine, forget all of that girl give it to God, FIRST! I also suggest that you ask God to open your eyes so that you may be able to see His calling and answers in your daily life. You may not understand it now, or even anytime soon, but trust that God is hearing you and that you will receive deliverance, pray that your eyes may be open and that your ears may hear, so that may recognize what He has done when He has done it. What if God is asking you to trust Him in this season? What if He is asking you if you have any trust in Him at all? Though the storms may be tough and though many of us would rather prefer to have all of these things revealed to us in the calmness of our lives, there is something about being in the storm that reveals things to you that can only be found and understood then.

Sis, I know it can be so hard but remember that the storm teaches you to appreciate clear skies. That the darkness makes the light shine brighter. That brokenness reveals the beauty of healing. That trusting the Lord deepens your understanding of His greatness. And that surrendering your life shows you just how in control He truly is.

I pray that you as you grow in your loving relationship with the Lord, that you surrender your life to Him. Psalms 23:1-6 says "The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I dwell in the house of the Lord forever." This is my prayer over your life.

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for being in control of our lives. Lord though we may think that it would be easier to be in control, only you know what the weight of that duty truly yields. Lord thank you for working things out for our good, not just in our plans but every day of our lives. Thank you for loving us, for caring for us, and for giving us grace and mercy even when we are only giving you fragments of our lives. Thank you, Lord, for taking all that we give you, and returning it to us in abundance. For giving us far greater, far better, far more than we could ever imagine or provide for ourselves. Thank you for carrying our burdens Lord, and for giving us peace to live every day of our lives in your confidence. Thank you for being a father, for watching over us, and for protecting us from all else, and ourselves. Thank you for comforting us, and consolidating us even when we curse and envy your plans. For reminding us that you plan to prosper us and that you care for us even when we chant insults and give your hardened portions of our hearts. Thank you for being good, for always being good Lord, for never changing, for loving us freely. Surely Lord there is no other God like that, a God who has given us everything even when we have given you nothing. Help us Lord not to take advantage of your goodness, instead, may we love you, glorify you, and honor you all the more because of it. Let us to not see your grace and mercy as another opportunity to live out the desires of our flesh, but to rather live boldly and holy because we are not deserving of it. Help us Lord to do better out of love, to surrender out of love, to give ourselves to you out of love. Lord, I rebuke any other motive outside of ones that bring you honor, glory, and delight. May we surrender and serve you all the days of our life Lord, and may we dwell in your heavenly kingdom, your perfect, wonderful, and wholesome kingdom for all of our days, and forever, and ever, and ever. Thank you Lord for your goodness, I pray Lord for forgiveness for all our sins and shortcomings

In Jesus Name We Pray,

Amen.

Surrender Because You Trust the lord

Psalm 37:1-40 Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong; 2 for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away. 3 Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 4 Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: 6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun. 7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. 8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. 9 For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land. 10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more; though you look for them, they will not be found. 11 But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy peace and prosperity. 12 The wicked plot against the righteous and gnash their teeth at them; 13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he knows their day is coming. 14 The wicked draw the sword and bend the bow to bring down the poor and needy, to slay those whose ways are upright. 15 But their swords will pierce their own hearts, and their bows will be broken. 16 Better the little that the righteous have than the wealth of many wicked; 17 for the power of the wicked will be broken, but the Lord upholds the righteous.18 The blameless spend their days under the Lord’s care, and their inheritance will endure forever. 19 In times of disaster they will not wither; in days of famine they will enjoy plenty. 20 But the wicked will perish: Though the Lord’s enemies are like the flowers of the field, they will be consumed, they will go up in smoke. 21 The wicked borrow and do not repay, but the righteous give generously; 22 those the Lord blesses will inherit the land, but those he curses will be destroyed. 23 The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; 24 though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand. 25 I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. 26 They are always generous and lend freely; their children will be a blessing. 27 Turn from evil and do good; then you will dwell in the land forever. 28 For the Lord loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. Wrongdoers will be completely destroyed; the offspring of the wicked will perish. 29 The righteous will inherit the land and dwell in it forever. 30 The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom, and their tongues speak what is just. 31 The law of their God is in their hearts; their feet do not slip. 32 The wicked lie in wait for the righteous, intent on putting them to death; 33 but the Lord will not leave them in the power of the wicked or let them be condemned when brought to trial. 34 Hope in the Lord and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are destroyed, you will see it. 35 I have seen a wicked and ruthless man flourishing like a luxuriant native tree, 36 but he soon passed away and was no more; though I looked for him, he could not be found. 37 Consider the blameless, observe the upright; a future awaits those who seek peace. 38 But all sinners will be destroyed; there will be no future for the wicked. 39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord; he is their stronghold in time of trouble. 40 The Lord helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him.

Surrender And Be Like Jesus

Psalms 2: 5-18  In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 7 rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross! 9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. 12 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. 14 Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky 16 as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. 17 But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. 18 So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

Surrender So That You May Have Peace

Philippians 4:6-7 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Surrender Your Worries

Matthew 6:25-34-  “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]? 28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.