Being In a Relationship With The Lord: Commitment

Hey sis, if this so happens to be the first post you have ever read on Saved Seeds, thank you so much for tapping in, I would love to welcome you to the family. For better context and a deeper understanding of this subject, I would kindly suggest that you begin your reading from the first post in this five-post series!

If this happens to be the last post that you are reading from this series, I am so proud and thankful that you have made it to the final post! While I am both happy and sad that we are reaching the end of this series, I can personally say there is so much that I have learned through reading scripture, watching sermons, and spending time in deep in prayer on these subjects and topics. I hope and pray you can say the same.

A Different Type Of Fast

It is currently Monday, April 21st, the day after Easter. I want to take this moment to say Happy Easter. I hope that you all were able to think about Jesus and the sacrifice He made for us on the cross of Calvary.

I haven't talked about it in this series, but this year I decided to fast for Lent. While I’ve fasted in the past, even during Lent, I wanted this fast to be different from the others. I didn’t want it to simply be about giving something up because I had to, or because I was hoping God would do something that was tucked away deep in my heart. This time, I wanted to fast humbly and selflessly, with the intention of knowing, growing, and truly feeling closer to Jesus. I didn’t want this to be performative or passive. I actually wanted to posture my heart in a way that made space for God to move in my life. So when I made the decision to fast this year in a different way, I took my time to reflect on my why. After sitting with it for a while, I realized the biggest reason was that I wanted to humble myself before the Lord and gain a deeper understanding of the sacrifice He made.

You know, we hear all the time that Jesus died on the cross for us, that he died for our sins because He loves us. But I didn’t want that truth to just pass through my ears like it always does during the Easter season. This time, I wanted to feel those words. I wanted them written on my heart and engraved in my mind. I wanted to understand, even in the smallest way, the depth of His sacrifice and the weight of His love. So I prayed. I sat in silence, I read scripture, I thought about everything I was carrying; I asked myself what it meant to truly walk in remembrance of Christ, not just once a year, but every day. And that reflection is what led me to choose three central things for my fast: media, sweets, and cursing.

When I say media, I mean social media, TV shows, YouTube videos, pretty much every kind of entertainment there was, unless it was biblically related. For example, I still used media to watch sermons or Christian-based movies and shows, but even then, I was intentional about it. I didn’t want to consume content that filled time, I wanted it to feed my spirit. Everything I allowed in had to remind me of Jesus, of His sacrifice, and His love for me. I also wanted this time to give me more room to read, not just the Bible, but devotionals, biblical interpretations, and stories from other believers. I wanted to learn about people’s struggles in faith, their seasons of doubt, their breakthroughs, and their growth. Because the truth is, I still have areas I need to grow in, areas I’m asking God to make me more aware of. I wanted to gain a sense of fellowship, even if it was just through words on a page. I wanted to feel less alone in my walk and more connected to the body of Christ.

Forty-seven days ago, I was just about to enter a demanding season. I had to study for the LSAT, I was working more hours than usual, and my schedule was jam-packed to say the least. If I hadn’t made space for God, He could’ve easily been pushed into the background of my life. But thankfully, Lent came right on time. It felt like God had already prepared the path for me, and told me, This is what you need to do, and this is how you’re going to do it. At the time, I didn’t realize how much I needed those instructions, but looking back now, I see His hand over every single day before, during, and after my fast. He strengthened me when I didn’t have the energy. He gave me clarity when I felt overwhelmed. He gave me a sense of discipline, focus, and peace that could only come from Him, and I didn't even know I needed any of it.

The second thing I decided to give up was cursing. If I am being honest, I've spent years thinking about verses like James 3:10, where it says, “Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.” I’ve struggled with cursing for a long time, and if I’m being honest, I still do. I cannot say that I have been fully delivered from it. But I do know this: it’s something God wants me to let go. He has been so good to me, so faithful, and I want my mouth, the same one that praises Him, to be reverent. I want my words to reflect the posture of my heart that He has given me. And beyond the Christian aspect, cursing, slang, and lazy speech have actually been a disadvantage for me. As I get closer to law school, I’m learning that I'm going to have to engage with deeper, more intentional language. The casual, comfort-zone way of talking that I’m used to just isn’t going to take me where I need to go. All in all, I want to grow into a woman who reflects godly wisdom inside and out. A woman whose words carry weight, clarity, and grace. Like the one described in Proverbs 31. Now, I’m not saying this has to be your conviction, or that you can’t be a Christian if you struggle with cursing. This is just where I'm at currently in my walk, and it's something God has placed on my heart, so I want to honor it.

And lastly, desserts. Y’all, I love sweets. I'm that girl who needs something sweet after everything I eat that's savory. Nothing hits like dessert after a long day. So while it might seem like a small thing to give up, it was actually a real sacrifice for me. For me, dessert is comfort, a reward, and a treat. Giving that up reminded me that sacrifice doesn’t always have to be big to be meaningful. Sometimes it’s in the little daily choices that we can learn most from.

So if I had to sum it up, my fast was about focus, reverence, and sacrifice. But more than anything, it was about making and keeping a commitment. Not a temporary promise or just for a moment, but a real, honest, day-by-day commitment to being in relationship with the Lord.

Forget The Former Things

Now you might be wondering what all of that has to do with commitment, but for me, it had everything to do with it. Another problem I had in fasts I have done in the past is that once they ended, that was it. They were just… over. While my life would be significantly impacted in those moments, days, or even months, it was only a matter of time before I went back to my regular scheduled program; I would slowly go back to old habits, old desires, and old patterns. But this time, I didn’t want that. I didn’t want this fast to be a temporary change. I wanted it to mark a permanent shift in my relationship with God. I wanted this one to stay with me instead.

As I carried on with my fast, the Lord would constantly remind me about Isaiah 43, especially verses 18–19 where it says

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wildernessand streams in the wasteland.”

Whether it was through videos, experiencing temptation, or through loneliness, these 2 verses would keep coming back to my heart. It's so easy to go back to the former things. We see it throughout Scripture, from the Old Testament to moments of doubt and limitation in the New. And we see it today in and outside of media. This world makes it so easy to slip back, but I refuse for that to be my reality any longer. I’ve come too far for all of that. There was this post I once saw on Instagram that said, "If I go forward, I will salt the earth, but if I turn back, I will just become a pillar of salt." In today's world, more than ever, I feel like it's only gotten more normal to go back. Let me give you some examples: spinning the block, getting your get back, doing your dirt, whether it's to a relationship, an old habit, or your former way of living, it happens, and it happens often to the best of us. Sometimes it's not as simple as I'm even making it sound, some of you tried to move forward, you tried to do better, you tried to live differently, but every obstacle that came your way, every barrier and limitation broke your spirit, even though you gave it your all. I get it, I really do, if you only knew how many times I had to pick up that blunt one last time, have that snack one last time, link with that ex one last time, go out that one last time, the sad truth is that they were rarely ever lasts no matter how hard or how little I tried. But I made a promise to myself and to God, I made a promise that this time would be different, this life would be different. My soul is too hungry, and my spirit is too thirsty for the Lord, for me to ever go back now. There’s nothing left for me in the past anymore.

Looking back at things, it only offered me temporary joy, short-term fulfillment, and deeper brokenness. Even though it gets hard, I realized I have to keep my eyes forward because I know the Lord now. I know His goodness. There are things my worldly desires still try to convince me are better, but deep in my spirit, I know there is nothing better than the Lord and all that comes with Him. That’s why I needed commitment. That's why I still need commitment. We all need commitment. When I struggle, I think about Paul and his struggles, and how even his pain was used to glorify God. In Philippians 1:12-14 he wrote:

"Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear."

Paul was imprisoned. He was suffering. And yet, he still rejoiced. Even though he probably would have been anywhere else preaching the gospel, it was because he was in those chains that he could talk to the prison guards, other prisoners, and even appointed officials. It is likely that Paul would have never been able to reach the people he did had he not been imprisoned, and even through his suffering, he stayed committed to God's plan. Paul's pain wasn’t in vain. It was his pain that produced fruit for the Kingdom. It got so hard that in verse 23, Paul even said

I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far;

I felt that. It would be easier to be with the Lord. If it were my will, there would be no other place I’d rather be. The former things in my life felt good at times. They were fun. They were loud. They were lit, and there are times when I miss it. Sometimes living for the Lord gets hard, and like Paul, departing and being with Christ seems like it would be the only better option. But in verses 24-26, he says

But it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, 26 so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me.

I realize now that even in my brokenness, God worked. That those seasons served a purpose. And now I have a testimony. A real one, I can speak of what He took me out of. I know who I am and where He’s brought me from. And because of that, I know that I have a calling that can’t afford to be compromised. It will be hard, and it will get harder, but I would rather remain in this life, in this body because I am convinced that I will continue for the progress and joy in faith, so that people may know that it was all because of the Lord, that all of the credit for my life belongs to him. So now I write, now I teach, now I speak about the Lord now. And the former things, I know, they no longer serve me. But I still pray so that I can have compassion, so that I can have empathy, and be reminded of the very broken paths that led me here. I pray that I never preach or write out of selfish ambition, or teach out of envy or rivalry. I pray there were never times I did, but I’m humble enough to know that I’m still human. That even though the right words may have been spoken in past seasons, this season needs to be different. I want the intention behind everything I do to reflect the Lord, because real reflection requires commitment. My old life? It was fun. It was a blast when it wasn’t broken and hellish. But this life? This one with Christ? It’s better. Even when it’s hard. Even when it’s quiet. Even when I feel FOMO or feel like I’ve changed so much I barely recognize myself anymore, I will be reminded of Paul's words, "become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.". Because I’ve seen too much. I’ve known too much. I’ve felt the presence of God too much to know that once you’ve been in that presence, nothing else compares.

He Is Doing A New Thing In You

Now, since Saved Seeds is all about discipleship and serving, I can't end this series without bringing up these verses from Isaiah 43 1-3:

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you. I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”

These verses remind me that the Lord is with me, that the Lord is with us. We belong to Him, and He has called us by name. Sis His love is far more fulfilling than anything this world could ever offer us. My deepest desire for you is that you simply know Him, the real Him. That you stay close to Him. That you walk in obedience and remain in relationship with Him. It has taken me a long time, but I have realized that there is nothing I could ever want more than to live a life that reflects His goodness and brings Him glory. Sis, in our lives, He is doing a new thing:

“Forget the former things. Do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?” Isaiah 43:18–19

To tell you the truth, it's crazy because even though it has been almost five months since I went into the waters of baptism and gave my life to Him, I still grieve some of what I left behind. I still have desires that are rooted in what used to be. But He is doing a new thing. Not just in me, but in you too, sister.

If you feel blind to it, and you feel like you can see some things changing in your life, but it just doesn't make any sense. Think about John 6. The Bible says

When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward Him, He said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” He asked this only to test him, for He already had in mind what He was going to do.

God already knows what He is going to do. Even when we don't see it, even when we feel unprepared, He has already made a way. He can do everything in your life with what seems like nothing. And if He can do what He did on that day with five loaves and two fish, what do you think He will do in your life with what you have to offer today?

So today, I rest in this truth. And with the final post in this series, I leave the rest to the Lord so that you may hear it directly from Him! His words and works are far better than mine could ever be, and after all, even the fragments of work that come to me come from Him. So I hope my testimony over this month of Lent inspired you. I hope that it gave you encouragement, comfort, or even simply something to relate to. But above all, I hope that you were able to see what God did for me and connect it to what He is doing for you, whether you are in a season of fasting or not. God is about to do some great things in you, sis, and He needs you to let go of the former things!

Thank you so much for joining me in this series. And if you are new here, welcome.

I pray that in this week, today, tonight, in your dreams, tomorrow, and every day moving forward, you hear the Lord’s voice in your heart. And I pray that you join Him, that you Be in Relationship With Him. May your commitment to Him, and in Him, endure all of the challenges that may try to take you away from His love. Thank you again for being here. May the Lord, the God of Heaven’s Armies, be with you forever and ever and ever.

Our Heavenly Father,

Thank You so very much for this season. Lord, thank you for all the ways you have been taking mustard seeds and moving mountains. Lord, to be in relationship with you is the best thing that could ever be. So Lord, I pray that as we cultivate a relationship with you, we communicate, surrender, that we have patience, and that we stay committed. Lord, I pray that our relationship with you endures even the worst of trials, tribulations, and struggles that will come our way. I pray, Lord, that even through the worst of things we triumph and trust in you. Lord, every one day with you is far better than the best days of our life put together, but Lord, this world makes it hard to believe the truth that we know, the truth that is found in you.

So Lord, I pray that your way shines as radiantly as it does when we know it. I pray that our hearts see the lights gleaming in your direction. I pray that we hear the trumpets and the rejoicing that only comes from you, and I pray that we walk into the path that leads to your perfect and wonderful kingdom.

Thank you, Lord, for being willing to be in relationship with us, for giving us a level of commitment far greater than our own. Thank you, Jesus, for your unconditionality, for the suffering and the sacrifices that you willfully made for our salvation. Lord, may we be just a fragment of you, if we can even be that much, but Lord, give us hearts that strive to live out your greatness all the days of our lives. Lord, draw us near to you, for your way is the way. Lord, surely you are the truth and the life. May we know our God, may we love our God, through you, Jesus.

Your burdens are light, yet you carry ours so heavy. You carried the cross with us in mind, so Lord, as we live this life, may each day be in remembrance of you, Lord. May we carry the love that you left on the cross, a love so light, so full. May our worst days, Lord—even the worst of days—still be moments where we live in light of you. For on your worst day you gave us everything. Lord, may we give you all that we can on our good and our bad. May we live our lives in honor of you, Jesus. And may we make it our mission to fight against the flesh and desires of this world. Forgive us for our sins, Lord, and our trespasses toward you and others. Lord, through your grace and mercy, may we be forgiven for and strengthened to no longer do more.

In Jesus Name I pray, Amen